No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Everywhere you look & read in the USA these days, someone is crying out ‘racist’, ‘bigot’, ‘sexist’ and the like. The powers that be want us to be divided along class lines, gender lines, racial & ethnic & religious lines… pretty much any line they can conceive.

Do you know what all of these “dividing lines” have in common? They play on our insecurities. 

{I’ve written before on the source of our insecurity — and it’s worth reading today! Uproot Insecurity: How to Regain Your Confidence.}

That’s right — while no one enjoys being called a derogatory name, it’s when we begin starting riots & hateful rants, putting ‘them’ down & demanding more-than-equal treatment that we realize the problem is deeper than ‘their’ insults. Our defensive response boils down to a couple things. We want:

1) Validation where we feel inferior

2) Revenge for mistreatment {Read my post about The Best Revenge — it’s pretty fabulous!}

I certainly wish the world were just. That would’ve made my journey a lot easier, as it would’ve every single one of you. But the reality is: The world will NEVER be fair. There will always be prejudice and injustice and ‘isms‘ that try to make us feel down about ourselves & our place. Not until Jesus comes back & restores true unity will we see ‘heaven on earth’ in its fullness. {That’s not to say we shouldn’t take action to seek justice on earth & free those who are oppressed! But we must acknowledge that we live in an imperfect world.}

But we have a choice to make.

Will we forgive the bigots among us — the ones who called us names or treated us differently based on our ______? Will we forgive the sexist comments made to belittle us, the racist remarks, or the rude slights received about our beliefs, our ‘status’, or our age… or will we let them shape how we see ourselves and fight for our revenge? Because when we walk around with a chip on our shoulders, people notice — especially ‘them’. They realize they can get under our skin & control our responses by their behavior.

When we let ‘them’ get to us, we give them power over our actions — scratch that — reactions. Because truth be told, when we refuse to let go of people’s hurtful behavior, our go-to response will always be REACTING instead of intentional RESPONSES. It’s like being dragged around on a leash by our “hot buttons” — held by the very people who take advantage of our weaknesses. We become easy targets for their games.

But if we stop meditating on their negative words & reframe them in light of our true value, NO ONE can tell us who we are. We’ll be free to listen to the only Voice that matters — His — and act accordingly.

It may help us to recognize that those who prey on others’ vulnerabilities to make them feel inferior are those who feel inferior themselves. With this in mind, we can even see our ‘enemies’ through compassionate eyes — and pray for them (!) as Jesus encouraged us to do:

You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven.

— Matthew 5

Just like many of you, I’ve been belittled at various points in my life — certainly not as much as some but to an extent. Forgiving isn’t always easy, but the alternative is worse: Staying bitter & giving people power over us! I want the FREEDOM to treat people with respect even when they don’t respect me. And maybe especially then.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse…

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.

Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.

‘But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

— Romans 12

I believe many riots, shootings, hate speech & angry outbursts wouldn’t happen in America (& around the world) if we’d all start letting go of others’ opinions of us & OWNING our sense of self-worth/identity instead of looking to the world to tell us who we are! We can’t live life listening to so many conflicting voices — including the voices of prejudice — that vie for our heart space. They compete with God’s voice, telling us we’re ‘less than’ simply because we’re women… minorities… Christians… poor… older (& wiser) :)… or any other class the world deems inferior.

Who cares? We shouldn’t. There’s no time to give their words room in our hearts. We can either live our lives proving our worth to people who demean it, or we can live our lives free from their opinions & be who we really are — even if it means we receive lesser treatment sometimes or are the recipient of rude words & outright discrimination.

One of the most amazing things I’ve discovered about God in my own journey is this: He is ALWAYS seeking to empower us! He doesn’t want us walking around as ‘victims’ with inferiority complexes the rest of our lives, acting as if the world owes us something because we’ve had hurtful things done & said against us. {I mean, haven’t we all at some point?}

No — the Lord seeks to put the power back into our own hands by challenging us to take responsibility for our feelings, even when we’re mistreated. This is in fact the only way to overcome being a ‘perpetual victim’. He once said to me:

Always the victim, never the victor.

I believe this little phrase is telling: If we cling to our ‘inferiority’ & all the mean things done against us, we will never overcome such mistreatment. We’ll live in a cycle of defeat — trapped by a victimhood mindset — living as if life HAPPENS to us instead of us taking positive ACTION regardless of what they say & do. We’ll let them run our lives.

I’m so thankful God ALWAYS gives us a say in the matter:

You can believe them, or believe Me.

You can hold onto their words, or you can cling to Mine.

You can forgive them, or give them control over your life.

You can react to them, or maintain self-control & love them anyway.

You can live in peace & victory, or experience turmoil, bitterness & defeat.

The choice is yours.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Let it go. Release them. Find freedom in who God made you to be — a wonderful, gifted, diverse reflection of Him.

You are never powerless even in the face of oppression, so quit giving your God-given power to other people. Come back to Him & His voice alone. Remember: You have a very big say in the matter.