Credit: Dani Brown Photography

Insecurities.

We all have them… but do we know why?

Recently I was reminded of a primary source of our insecurity, something I believe the Holy Spirit laid on my heart one day as I was going about my business.

He gave me a little assignment, and now I’m passing it onto you!

     1. Make a list of your insecurities.
     2. Next to your list, write down when each insecurity first started in your life.

My list looked something like this (but longer):

Do you see the pattern here? I let other people’s opinions of me tell me who I was.

When I was a child, I had no insecurities because I didn’t know I needed to! No one had pointed out my flaws yet.

Now am I suggesting the key to confidence is being young & naive? Basically, yes!

Just kidding.

I haven’t mentioned the final step to this assignment – the key step. Here goes:

     3. Forgive them.

Have you & I forgiven these people for what they said / did to us? How they embarrassed us in front of others? How they judged (or misjudged) us?

Forgiveness is a huge step in becoming secure in who we are. Why? Because when we forgive, other people’s words & actions no longer have power over us.

Do we realize how much power we give our offenders when we refuse to forgive them? We hold onto their personal assessments of our value. We internalize them & allow their words to affect how we view ourselves. Eventually we can let their opinions hijack our future.

The reason I can list a few of my insecurities above is because I don’t give weight to what those people said about me anymore.

Do I think there’s truth in their assessments? Likely. But I’ve stopped harboring resentment towards them, so I no longer care what they once said. I still care (very much) about the people who said them, but I recognize now that their unkind words stemmed from their own insecurity or insensitivity.

Guys, I’ve even started singing in front of my husband, & he thinks I have a pretty voice! (Yes, he may be biased. And no, I don’t want your second opinion haha :))

Resent – release – repeat. It’s the only way to be free from other people’s assessments of us.

The Lord wants us to have complete confidence – not in another person’s opinion of us but in who He says we are. His amazing thoughts about us are truly enough. He made you & me so precisely. Who are we to question how we’re wired or put together (or the talents we think He totally forgot to give us)?

We don’t have to hide our flaws anymore – we can own them & move on with our lives. We can even laugh at them! I’m learning to, and when I find myself in a place of insecurity again, I revisit this model to resolve the issue in my heart.

Because what they say doesn’t have to matter anymore.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty!  ~2 Cor. 3:17

Thank You Lord that we don’t have to be held down by the thoughts, opinions, & sometimes just plain meanness of other people. We can be set free from our insecure baggage when we release our offenders to You. Thank You Jesus for forgiving us of the mean & hurtful things we’ve said to others that may have given them baggage, too! We pray You set them free with this truth, and help us build up where we once tore down. IJN.

I hope you’ll share this message so more people can discover that the key to living with confidence rests in our own hands!