Every parent adores their child when they first enter the world. They’re all squishy, adorable, precious & brand-new!

I’ve thought often how wonderful the world would be if us parents kept that fascination with our kids throughout their lifetimes. What kind of impact would that have on their hearts & lives?

Do you delight in your children–just the way they are? I have often heard parents talking about their kids and wishing away the very qualities that makes them stand out and that God wants to one day use to change their corners of the world.

My husband and I often laugh (in a good way) at our young daughter. Her infectious joy, huge cheesy grins early in the mornings, never-ending energy, and very strong opinions… these qualities make us realize God has perfectly created her to be someone He wants to use now & in the future.

But what if we tried to dismiss or change the very things He put in her: Her strong will and determination, her constant persistence 😀 until she sees change, her compassion and thoughtfulness of others, her tender yet justice warrior heart?

What if, instead of delighting in her, we made fun of the very gifts of God in her–labeling her “stubborn”, “too sensitive”, “dramatic” or “difficult”?

She is who she is, a passionate tiny human with big desires & feelings. She is continuously caring about the people around her. She also has VERY strong opinions about nearly everything 😀 lol! We desire to work with her to cultivate these qualities and help her apply discipline to them–patience while she persists in seeing change, self-control regarding her big heart & emotions, & good boundaries while she helps others.

We want to develop these traits in her to their full & healthiest expression–not fight against her very nature! This is fruitless & will only discourage a child & frustrate us. We can’t change our children, nor should we want to, but we can help them grow & mature in their gifts.

Every person was created to be a gift

Do you believe this?

My whole life, the Lord has greatly impressed upon me an understanding that each person He made is a masterpiece & very precious to Him, with something very special & unique to offer the world–even if it’s not obvious to me how.

• One person may be very strong-willed, which God wants to use (with Holy Spirit temperance) to make great changes in the world.
• Some people may have huge, tender hearts, but perhaps their gift of mercy will change people’s lives and bring them to know the Lord?
• Others may be very ambitious, and the Lord will use them to evangelize communities & make a big splash with their driven natures.
• Still others may be constantly learning, reading, and crafting messages to spread the love of God & His word throughout their world.

Who am I to diminish their worth because it doesn’t serve me or fit my idea of who they should be?

What if parents pressured their studious child to be an athlete, thwarting their very life’s purpose? What if they challenged an introvert to be a social butterfly, not giving them time to tinker & explore curiosities that would become life-changing inventions? What if they shamed a sensitive, caring child & told them to “toughen up”, so they retreated into their inner world instead of sharing their beautiful, loving heart with the world?

Yet many parents fight their child’s God-given temperament instead of celebrating who they are. These kids end up living the rest of their lives rejecting the very attributes God placed in them to bless other people–His image in them!

I don’t want to fight God by making my child in my own image. Do you?

I don’t want my daughter to grow up insecure because her parents rejected her, just the way she is.

I don’t want any child to feel they are ‘less than’ because they’re not who I thought (or wanted them) to be: funny, a great athlete, smartest in class, a future doctor or business woman, an alum of my college, etc. And even if they are–great!–but the point isn’t that they’re better than anyone else or precisely who I steered them to be. They’re simply expressing the gifts God’s given them & pursuing HIS plans & purposes for their lives, not dad & mom’s. God can work with that.

The attributes I want to celebrate in my daughter are the ones God esteems–not our world’s. I want to delight in seeing His character and heart in her. She has such beautiful qualities, and when aligned with the fruit of His Spirit (love & joy & peace & patience…), she will be an asset to His kingdom. That is my whole heart’s desire for her, even when on a day-to-day basis certain personality traits challenge me.

Sure, my husband & I have days where we look at each other, laugh, & say things like “Who gave her caffeine…!?” or “Someone’s wearing her feisty pants today” haha 😀 but we say it because we adore, honor & celebrate her. She is precious, she is valued, and we want her to know she is welcome at home just the way she is–strong, determined, all things sugar & spice, big-hearted, caring & kind–all the things that make up our sweet & fun-loving & passionate Abigail 🙂

Make it happen in your family!

This Christmas season, let’s begin by focusing on positive qualities in each of our loved ones (instead of ones that may frustrate us). Make a list for each person, and start affirming these qualities in them.

Watch & see if they don’t blossom under our encouragement, instead of wilting under our criticism!

“Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Prov. 18

Let’s speak life over our kids & watch them bloom!!