We interrupt this series to talk about… our baby girl, who could be arriving any day now! I wanted to document this moment in time, as I love to do, through writing.

This is such a special pause in between two seasons — going from “baby free” to having a mini me! I imagine this must be a big adjustment and one we’ve been preparing our entire lives for… yet NOTHING can adequately prepare us for the life change we’re about to experience. Nothing & no one.

But I’m excited. Even a few days ago I didn’t feel ready, but suddenly I do. Despite the fact that her nursery isn’t perfectly put together, that we don’t have a “going home” outfit we love (in newborn size, that is!), or that I don’t feel 100% organized & caught up on life… in my heart, I feel ready. Her daddy feels ready. He prayed last night, right before walking out the door for a sports game he was playing in, and told her, “Little girl, it’s time to come out now — Your parents are ready to meet you!” The first time he’s said that.

At 40 weeks (!) now, Abigail is officially “full term”, and she seems ready to go. Lots of new symptoms in the last few days tell me we’re reaching D-Day (delivery day), and we could be holding her in a day or two! How wild & wonderful is that?

I have no idea how painful labor may be, if I’ll require pain medication (praying for His grace to power through), if Brian & I will laugh or cry when she finally enters the world. What I do know is we’ve been waiting years for this time to come, and now it’s here. It all feels a bit out of our hands and in His.

It’s surreal — this pregnancy, the timing of it all, the fact that we’re already full-term! We’ve been so busy moving TWICE during this pregnancy, saying goodbye to Texas life & embracing Florida, plugging into our new home(s), prepping for her arrival, attending birth classes & doctor & doula appointments, researching “The Best” baby registry items, switching birth centers halfway through, our 3 baby showers & setting up her nursery…. that it’s been hard to focus on the little life growing inside of me.

Now that we’re here, it feels like I’m living someone else’s dream. I don’t even feel pregnant most of the time, so being ready to birth a baby is still shocking to my senses. How can it be that I am pregnant and right on the cusp of bringing her into the world??

Above all, I can’t fathom what it’s like to create a human being and then finally get to meet them. The prospect is incredibly exciting, new, fresh, and bizarre. Being a parent… I’d given up on that dream. I’d moved forward with business and ministry dreams with my hubby! I’d let go of this mothering desire I’ve had since I was a child. So had my husband, nearly.

Yet God had other plans, and here we are on the brink of this new adventure. We feel — excited and CALM. At peace. Dare I say prepared? Because we’re never quite prepared for mega life changes like college and marriage and new jobs and cities… let alone raising tiny humans. But we do it. We walk through those wide-open doors to a new season in life overnight. Even though we’ve waited and prepared for so long, the change from “Not married” to “Married” & from “Kid-free” to “Parents” happens in the blink of an eye. We let go of the old and step into the unknown beginning one day, just like that.

TRUSTING HIM IN NEW SEASONS

This is where our faith comes in. For if God thinks we’re ready — enough to bless us with one of our heart’s greatest desires — then we must be. He is entrusting us with this baby girl, Abigail Love, because He chose us to be her parents and chose her to be our firstborn.

How exciting. How cool. How fun. And how strange! I am looking forward to seeing what she looks & acts like, getting to know her unique little spirit, caring for her, introducing her to our family (including our 1 year old puppy Behr!), and exploring her new world with her. I’m looking forward to baby carrying, swimming with her for the first time, pushing her stroller in our new neighborhood, and eventually shopping together… wiping her cute hiney (x 1,000!)… hearing her voice for the first time…. and teaching her about Jesus.

Breastfeeding makes me a little nervous, but I know there are many women who’ve had issues who came through like a champ! I’ve heard our hormones can be wonky for a bit, as our bodies adjust to normal levels again and we adjust to less sleep. I also know each woman’s body & every baby is different, so I may need to let go of expectations & let life happen the way He intended it to.

Personally I’m also eager to feel normal again, to EXERCISE like I used to (woo hoooo!), to breathe normally EVERY DAY, and to fit in my normal cute wardrobe again 🙂

ABIGAIL LOVE ♥

I’m also excited to see what she’s like. To pray over her. To hear what the Lord speaks to us about her. She is gonna be one wonderful young lady one day! A much-loved, much anticipated, much prayed over little girl. How apropos that her initials are ALM, which means:

Gift, charity, compassion, mercy, a donation given to the needy, the act of giving for a common purpose.

Abigail will be a beautiful gift 🙂 Her first name means “the Father’s joy” or “Joy bringer”, and her middle name “Love” is the first fruit of the Spirit. Bringer of joy and love… a gift given to help those in need. What a lovely name to give our little girl!

Here is a scripture for Abby Love, this cherished little girl we can’t wait to hold. I couldn’t think of a more beautiful prayer for her life:

My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth…

I ask Him that, with both feet firmly planted on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love.

Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

God can do anything, you know — far more than you could ever imagine, or guess, or request in your wildest dreams!

He does it not by pushing us around, but by working within us, His Spirit deeply and gently within us.”

— Eph. 3

Also, here’s a little Love Letter written “from Abigail” to us (via my doula Cheryl at Gentle Genesis). How sweet is this?!

HI MOM AND DAD

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Well, it’s May 6 and I know you were hoping to meet me by now. I’m pretty excited too, but I’m just writing to let you know I’m not quite ready. I’m finishing up a few details in my lungs, brain, and eyes, but don’t worry, I’m almost done!

While you’re waiting, I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for taking such good care of me for the past 40 weeks. I know it’s not always easy to choose the healthy food or skip that donut or maybe a glass of wine, but I really do appreciate it. The long walks we take together are so wonderful! I hear you two talking to me and I wish I could look into your eyes and give you a big grin! I’m so glad I’ll get to do that any day now. We’re going to do so many cool things together, aren’t we? Holding me and singing to me will keep me warm and safe for a while and later on I want to hear all those bedtime stories and play silly games that make me belly laugh. But until we can do all those special things, just keep loving each other and making great plans for the 3 of us.

I’m so grateful God picked you to be my parents. He’s so amazing, and did you know that He never makes mistakes? Never, ever! So, I know I’m coming to the perfect family, full of gobs of people to love us and help us along the way.

Oh, and one more thing. I’m going to apologize ahead of time for some stuff that might not make you really happy. I don’t think I will sleep the same way as you. My tiny body needs a lot of food to grow and develop, so a couple hours of sleeping at a time is probably the best I can do for a while. Also, I don’t know how to talk yet, so I have to cry really loud sometimes. And maybe there will be some other stuff that, honestly, won’t be a ton of fun. But, hey, I’m new here and have to learn stuff. I know you’re going to teach me everything I need to know, but until then, thanks for your patience.

Well, that’s about it. I hear this birth thing is pretty interesting, so after it’s over you can tell me all about your part and I’ll probably just keep quiet about mine! 🙂  I’ll be seeing you soon and I can’t wait to meet you, dear parents!

All my love,

Abigail

PS- BTW, that doula named Cheryl, helped me write this. She thought it would be a good idea for you to hear from me, and I agreed. She’s so excited to help you do that birth thing and told me you’re going to do it really well. She’s pretty cool and I can’t wait to meet her, too!