When Life Gives You Lemons
This past year, my husband and I have walked through one of our hardest journeys — trying to conceive. In the midst of it, I was trying to “heal” my body of the fatigue and other issues I’ve had the last four years. It’s been unpleasant and long and hard.
We both had our faith majorly challenged (and oh how deep ours was, we thought!). But heartbreak reframes scripture for you and who you think God is. You suddenly aren’t sure that “With God, all things are possible” or that His plans “are to prosper and not to harm you”.
Plenty of people recite these in good times, as we had, but when people hand them to you in your hard moments, it comes out cheap. Ineffective. Callous even. We’ve all heard stories of how hurt people were by others’ words in their toughest times: Words that confused instead of encouraged them when a loved one passed away. Sometimes a hug or card or simple prayer are all that’s needed. Even scriptures can fall short, if not given with the right heart and careful consideration.
It’s not that God’s goodness changes in our hard moments, but when you’ve just received divorce papers, discovered someone you love has cancer, or heard of another person’s pregnancy who ‘wasn’t even trying’, life can feel like a slap in the face — with God the author of it all.
Truthfully, it’s easy to say “God is good” in the good times or if you haven’t been through the pit in awhile. Having hope when — as our good friends experienced — your child is sick in the hospital with surgeries for years or when you’ve been betrayed by someone you love is much harder.
God has shown me in these heartbroken moments that, while the truth is good to hear and will set us free, there’s a timing for it. We must wait for His timing when we seek to encourage others and be patient with ourselves as well. Even He waits for the right moment to speak to us, a time when our hearts can handle it. His word is meant to heal, not hurt, and we must remember we can break a person’s heart deeper with callous sentiments and verses when given at the wrong time.
A word spoken at the right time is like fruit of gold set in silver.
–Proverbs 25:11
Let’s not forget this scripture’s emphasis… at the right time. Praying about what to say and when is always a good idea! 🙂
We must remember, too, that what breaks another’s heart may not break ours. We’re all different people with different passions and life experiences, so our reactions to life’s circumstances may seem strange to people that even know us well. We mustn’t judge each other’s suffering and say it’s time to ‘get over it’ or to look on the bright side. God alone knows what that person’s walked through and why certain things hurt so deeply, so let’s leave their hearts in His hands and just be obedient when He tells us to do something about it.
Thanks for listening ♥
Comments are closed.
Colleen Andrews Morris
January 21, 2016 at 9:36 amAs the receiver of ill-timed comments, we have to forgive. Asking God to help us do that.
Summer
January 21, 2016 at 10:56 amYes, always. I just encourage us to have more compassion & be careful with the Christian cliches in times when people are hurting. God can help us with both! 🙂