Hi there ladies & gents!

Today’s writing is on something near & dear to my heart: THE CHURCH.

I’ve had the honor & privilege of being part of some amazing bodies of believers — from Tampa to Atlanta, Austin to Colorado Springs. I’ve loved each one for different reasons, but they’ve all produced great growth, friendship, JOY, peace & blessing in my life! The energy of hundreds (or thousands) of God’s people gathered in one place every week is powerful. It’s also transformational.

I’m not trying to paint a hunky-dory picture of God’s people because — as we all know — there are flaws and issues. I’ve experienced them and at times been deeply hurt by them. I’m sure I’ve disappointed and acted poorly to others as well. But I’ve grown so much with the church, and so has my sweet husband. Our marriage has been dramatically impacted by it, in mostly AMAZING ways, and I am so grateful God laid this foundation in the earliest stages of our marriage! Our relationship wouldn’t be the same, and our lives are so much richer because we’ve shared them with God’s body of believers.

But if you listened to certain sectors of the Christian populace, you’d hear a different view. Some are disgruntled with “the church”, saying we’re responsible for much of the mayhem, disorder & brokenness in the world. I get it, too. God’s bride — like anyone else’s — isn’t perfect. She’s beautiful at times, judgmental at others, immoral even in her worst moments. Some days she’s not very loving, as Jesus was. Some days she casts the first stone, shunning those she’s meant to embrace, forgetting all too well her own shortcomings & sins. I know. That sounds a lot like me at times, too.

But then you catch her in her glory: And she’s stunning. She gives to the people in her community, she worships the Lord & prays & serves mightily week after week (without praise or accolades, at least from man). She collects food for the hungry and ushers the homeless into her doors. She even creates ministries for single, unwed mothers, divorcees, and other potential ‘outcasts’ & sin-filled folk.

I’ve caught her visiting the imprisoned, the sick & the bereaved. I’ve seen her deliver food to new moms or even people she’s never met. In these moments — and they are MANY — she LOVES with all her might. She is the bride of Christ.

But, just as is possible in any relationship, we tend to overlook the beauty & focus on the bad: A few dimples on the back of the thigh or a blemish (or 3) in the mirror. If we’re not careful, we can begin magnifying her weaknesses, causing her to lose power, strength, and support.

This ought not to be so. Why? Let me give a few good reasons:

1. She’s God’s chosen bride. This alone should give us MAJOR pause when speaking out about her. He loves her and laid down His life for her. He still lives to intercede for her — for us! She (we!) need grace and mercy first.
2. She’s made of redeemed, yet still ‘earthen’ human beings. None of us are perfect and without fault, but (as my Texas pastor often said) together none of us have to suffer from our weaknesses. This is where the BODY of Christ comes into play. We balance each other out, help each other grow, call out sin on occasion (lovingly & when necessary for growth), and we love each other. It’s hard and painful at times, but anything good is 🙂 Some days the best thing we can hear is a word of loving correction from a true friend!
3. She is in process. God says He’s coming back for a spotless bride, but until then, she is on a journey with her Father to holiness!
4. She is our witness to the world of God’s love. But what if the ‘world’ only hears about her flaws, moral failures, and embarrassing boycotts & pickets? Why would the WORLD ever turn to her in their time of need if even Christians can’t say good things about her? We can be her own worst critics — you & me, the ‘insiders’.

Of course, we should never excuse sin or diminish moral failures, but many times Christians would do good to talk to each other first (as the Bible commands) before publically blasting specific ministries, churches or Christian leaders on their blogs, social media, verbally, or even from the pulpit. In fact, I don’t see anywhere scripturally where the WORLD should ever be notified of the church’s weaknesses.

Don’t you think this hurts God? How does He tell us the world will know that we are His disciples… if we crucify one another publically on our YouTube channels?

No. The answer is simple but more challenging: The world will know we’re His if we love one another. Yes, that includes people with theology we may not fully agree with. After all, if they aren’t preaching another Gospel, we don’t need to lambast our every difference. Perhaps the Lord gifted them differently than us, and thus the differing opinions in ‘grey’ areas. Maybe we try to make too many grey issues absolutes.

Biblical Precedence for Correction

One biblical account I LOVE is the story of Aquila and Priscilla. This power couple met a vibrant preacher named Apollos and — after listening to him speak and realizing he was a bit out of line theologically — approached him quietly and gently corrected his error (in private).

The result? Apollos became one of the best preachers of his day! All because two godly people were willing to take time to speak with him one-on-one about some off-base teachings he was sharing.

Many Christians have a burning zeal for God. I know! It’s wonderful! We want there to be NO ERROR in anyone’s teaching, anywhere, ever. I understand the desire: Inaccuracy has concerned me greatly within the church because I never wanted anyone (myself included) to be led astray.

However, we can cause more damage than we prevent by attacking every facet of the church based on our preferences & opinions, diminishing her innumerable good works by zeroing in on worship styles, unrealistic expectations of ministers, how others spend their money, and whether communion happens weekly or not. Many phenomenal ministries with worldwide impact have been cut down to size and criticized unjustly — despite leading THOUSANDS to Christ and reaching untold more through online teachings, books, and speaking engagements — because of similar issues.

Let’s start praising God’s beautiful bride, shall we? Let’s focus on the good.

If we see a Christian leader/ministry in error, try these things first:

1. Pray & ask God for wisdom. He says He’ll give it to us without finding fault!
2. Release any emotions to Him in prayer, especially judgment, offense, bitterness and (I’ll shoot straight here) self-righteousness. Before I confront people, which I don’t make a habit of, I pray and repent of the same sin in my own life (many times). It’s funny that the issues we see most in others tend to be our own, so it helps to cleanse our own hands before pointing out another’s.
3. GO TO THE PERSON / LEADER / MINISTRY FIRST. That’s biblical and embraces the Golden Rule: Do to them as you’d hope they’d do to you — including correcting privately.
4. If in doubt, hold your tongue and pray for them! Have you considered that perhaps God’s showing you weakness in another person so you can cover them in prayer?? Maybe confrontation is not His aim (He’s made it clear to me when it is!). Sometimes I simply witness behavior in another person, and He asks me to join Him in PRAYER for them. I’ve heard this called a “prayer covering” & I kinda like that phrase. Our prayers can literally protect them and their church, ministry, family, and the lives of everyone they influence.
5. Ask God if you’re the one to confront this sin. Maybe He has another in mind, and you’re meant to simply pray. Maybe you don’t have the “Relational Authority” (as my former pastor calls it) to correct them. Maybe another, closer friend is meant for the job. Either way, ask God what He wants you to do with it. But always pray.
6. Don’t assume you’re right. This is hard but so vital. Sometimes we have a plank in our OWN eye and can’t see to remove another’s. Our plank can blind us to the truth of someone’s heart, motives, or actions. We can’t know their heart unless the Holy Spirit gives us divine insight, which can be skewed by our own perceptions, judgments, anger/bitterness, prejudice, or assumptions. Discernment is a VERY real spiritual gift and one any believer can ask for!! So pray for it! Yet always lay your insights down and pass them through the lens of biblical wisdom before acting on them.
7. Keep it simple, short & clear. Don’t dramatize it. Be clear about the issue at hand. And may I recommend “the compliment sandwich”? This means you validate the person / ministry / church for the good you see in them before & after airing your concerns.
8. Most of all, love these people. Don’t speak condescendingly to them. Don’t text them about your concerns when it’s a personal conversation. Sometimes a letter is best to bring an issue to light without our emotions getting in the way, so pray about the best means & words to use. If you need outside wisdom, find someone who’s not involved and perhaps someone who doesn’t have a personal relationship with that person. Also, you don’t need to name names — you can glean wisdom from a godly friend or your small group without mentioning details and who’s in question.

When To Speak Up

Biblically speaking, there may come a time when you are compelled by the Lord to speak out against a person or ministry that’s openly teaching or embracing false doctrine (like homosexual leadership, for instance). This MUST be addressed. The Apostle Paul — in a few specific instances — called out BY NAME individuals who were teaching falsely or had fallen away from the faith. No doubt Paul used his own prescription for dealing with these folks and went to them first one-on-one, then brought another witness or two along to support his case, and when they’d repeatedly been unrepentant, brought the issue before the church. After exhausting all these means of correcting a person in serious error, Paul treated them as unbelievers and even sent them out of the church.

To let poison fester in a group of believers is detrimental to everyone there — and hurts their witness to unbelievers. Sin must be dealt with among God’s people. We can’t applaud it or turn a blind eye, and I’ve witnessed on several occasions when well-meaning Christian leaders did this very thing. I then watched that sin permeate the culture of believers and become a thorn to them.

We must recognize sin’s destructive nature and deal with it swiftly, but we can’t major in the minors — especially those “disputable matters” that aren’t paramount to our faith. Paul speaks often about these: some eating meat and others not, some honoring Sabbaths and others treating every day the same, some feeling freedoms others may not (alcohol comes to mind). These aren’t black & white issues! They are grey areas and potential pitfalls for those who aren’t mature enough to handle them, so we mustn’t take away the freedoms of others because we struggle with something.

Yet areas like pornography, alcoholism, living together unmarried, and flirtations/adultery are unacceptable biblically. Let’s not crucify people for indulging in these behaviors in the church, but if we witness them, we have a responsibility to address them and quickly!

Differing Rules for Believers & Non-Believers

Keep this in mind, too! The scriptural precendence for correcting misbehavior and poor teaching does NOT entitle us to judge ‘outsiders’. Nonbelievers aren’t going to adhere to Christian principles because they don’t have the power of the Holy Spirit at work within them nor the wisdom of the Bible guiding their daily lives. They may retain some of its teachings, but we can’t hold them to the standards of our fellow believers. So let’s have grace for outsiders and insiders alike, but treat them differently. Paul gave a different prescription for addressing sin within the church than he did for those outside it, saying:

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. ‘Purge the evil person from among you.’

— 1 Corinthians 5:9-13.

Eat the Meat, Spit Out the Bones

So let’s love each other — as scripture tells us to. Let’s look for unity among God’s people, not focus on our differences. Remember we are all different parts of the same body and different expressions of God Himself, so we need to appreciate our uniqueness more and find common ground. Praise & honor others & the gift of God in their lives instead of expecting them to be just like us.

Be a uniter, not a divider. Be a word of praise for God’s people, not a disgruntled expatriot of His church. Write and speak less about her flaws and focus more on her beauty. If you have a hard time seeing it, consider joining a new body of believers that reflects what you love about the Lord. My sister said this well the other day — “Eat the meat & spit out the bones.” 🙂 You’ll be much happier, healthier, and experience fulfillment and wholeness in a way you won’t find anywhere else outside God’s people.

When you get involved in a thriving group of believers in Jesus, it won’t be long before you see with your own two eyes and hear with your own two ears the very words and actions of God. Invest in that church community — serve, GIVE, read the Word, plug into groups, even step up into a service/leadership role — and I promise YOU WILL EXPERIENCE THE CHURCH the way God intended her to be: An absolutely beautiful, glorious reflection of Him on earth.

xoxo,
Summer