Credit: My handsome husband 🙂

Many of us have good advice for the people around us.

If Janet would just _____, she’d feel better.

If Bill would stop _____, he may get a promotion!

I wish my son would _____. He’d be able to settle down with a nice girl & get his life together.

I’m sure the world would be a better, brighter place if people accepted our sage counsel (or if we accepted theirs!), but that often doesn’t happen.

Why is that?

Maybe because, in our hurry to help others live better lives, we forget to focus on our own {guilty}!

We can try to train our kids & “groom” our spouses, write self-help articles, and preach to friends, but if we aren’t living it ourselves, we will negate our message.

To put it simply: We must lead ourselves FIRST, or we risk majorly limiting our influence & our credibility. After all, who follows a fat man’s diet plan or a broke man’s financial advice?

We must live it in order to teach it.

Even as I write this, I am challenged to focus on me first & let others be. My role is to support & encourage them, maybe even offer counsel (if the door is open), but I’m overstepping my bounds when I try to ensure they follow my lead.

Leadership is earned, not forced. If we try to force it, we lose people’s respect (& rightly so). We may even lose our ability to influence them positively. Jesus modeled the godly life for us, but He always gave us & others permission to choose our own way.

Our focus should be this: What am I doing? Am I leading myself properly? Am I taking care of my responsibilities, my finances, my goals, God’s vision for my life? Am I obeying Him? Am I doing what He’s called me to do?

Admittedly this is a challenge, but I really believe staying in “our lane” makes us more effective to one day lead the people around us. It also sharpens our focus & eliminates so much stress & anxiety in our lives.

Only once we effectively lead ourselves will we be in a position to lead others. As they say, you can’t lead people to a place you’ve never been.

So today, let’s try to focus on our small corner of the world. Life will seem less daunting if we don’t try to solve the world’s problems ourselves – and leave that in His capable hands. What we can tackle is our piece of the pie, set a good example, and hope that someday someone will find ours worth following.

Lead yourself first… and (maybe) the world tomorrow.

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

~1 Thess. 4

Is this a struggle for you? Have you seen this principle played out in your own life? Share below.

For a great resource on this topic, check out my friend Eric Papp’s book Leadership By Choice – a very practical guide to becoming a person of influence the old-fashioned way!