“The glory of God is man fully alive.” -Saint Ireneus

Christians I think get it messy sometimes.  I’m a big perpetrator of this.

We think the whole ‘Dying to self’ thing means dying to our passions, whatever we love and find fun and enjoyable.

But is that true?

A quick review of Scripture seems to support this.  Stop sinning.  Feed the poor.  Pray (a ton).  Don’t eat food some days (eep, fasting!).

An even quicker review of worldly activities includes ALL of the above, in excess!  My friend Adam posted the following quote: “To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites.  Moderation is for monks.”  I quite liked it.  Immediately I ‘had’ to disagree, though, because as Christians we know the dangers of excess anything.

But doesn’t something seem skewed here?  As God’s kids, aren’t we meant to be the free-est of the free?

Though I’m no monk, I’ve sure been living like one.  But why is living like a monk so bad?

After all they seem to be supernaturally connected to, well, the supernatural.  They don’t talk for whole days (nightmare?).  They pray like 5 times a day (about more than pleading for parking spaces!  Guilty ten times over).  They stay in monasteries away from the rest of the world.  They walk around in long, flowing robes (how Medieval of them), humming and meditating on obscure passages of Scripture.  (Wait–this is starting to sound like a bad cliche.  But you get the point).

Such a life hardly sounds like the liberated one Jesus talked about.  But Christians kinda think this is God’s ideal–me very much included.  Where did we get this ridiculous notion?

Okay, admittedly Jesus never cursed under His breath when stubbing His foot on stones.  He didn’t disobey Joseph and Mary (except that one time in the temple–which apparently was okay!).  And He most certainly didn’t drink, dance and party in extremes.  There are no holy hangovers, you know.

No.  Jesus didn’t do these things.  But let’s be real–was He known by what He did or didn’t do?

He said His food is to do the will of His Father, not to avoid sinning!  He lived on that.  Evil fell by the wayside with His single-minded devotion.

Jesus was a Man fully alive, not caught up in worldy pursuits–which ends in death–but in His glorious passions, His Father’s business.  They are one and the same, folks!  (Is that good news or what?)

Jesus was the walking-on-water, calming-the-storm-after-sleeping-through-it, touch-Me-and-be-healed Man.  He spent most of His days praying on mountaintops (sometimes through the night, people–good luck trying that!), making more bread than we could hope to in our lifetimes (roughly 9,000 loaves–in the bat of an eyelash), healing and teaching and discipling.  He invested in people.  He loved His Dad.

He was awesome.

His life wasn’t characterized by careful avoidance of evil (as my Inner Legalist wants).  Jesus’s path looks quite different from the monk’s life.  Need proof?

Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations—  “Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,” which all concern things which perish with the using—according to the commandments and doctrines of men?  These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.

Whoa.  WHAT!  Is that really in Scripture?  That sounds like a “Get Outta Jail Free” card!!!

Colossians 2.  Read it and weep, friend (in the best way).  It’s liberating 🙂

When I first read that, I think I laughed.  It’s funny.  We all know these people: they think they’re better than you because they cuss less (or only at “justifiable times”, knowwhatImean?), they’re very humble, and they’re great rule-followers.  They know all the rules, recite them and point out when you don’t make the cut (Sorry, better luck next time).  They’re mad at YOU for enjoying life when they clearly aren’t.  Having fun?  You must be sinning!  But they skirt around their own sin struggles, retreating into a hole-for-one (so you can’t see it).

Ouch.  This describes me.

Funny, I wasn’t thinking of anyone but myself when writing that–honest.  I know I can be condemning, self-righteous and judgmental.  What the heck happened to grace in my life?

I’m not sure.  I lost sight of it, the same time I joined the Living Dead (as in ‘the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life’ kinda dead).

That’s what describes my life today.  Comparisons.  Lists of don’ts.  A lot of whining (yikes).  Overall, misery (and we all know what misery loves).

I look at my life-loving hubby–always in action, moving, hunting, running, planting, eating, laughing, encouraging, singing, reading God’s words, just living life–TO THE HILT.  Very appealing to most everyone.  He’s fun, laid-back, and forgiving.

In short–the opposite of me.  And part of me is mad.  He must be doing something wrong to be having so much fun!

But something tells me he has life very right–something I missed the memo on (must’ve been sick that day).

I used to be a repentant sinner, fully aware of my misdeeds.

I’ve become holier-than-thou, a Bible thumper.  (Hate that word.  Maybe because it can be so fitting.)

I need to chill.  Take a grace pill.  Slow down my racing thoughts because God never appointed me judge (that position’s filled).  I need to start examining my own life instead of others.

That seems impossible!  I’ve struggled so often and so long with this critical/perfectionist nature.  But God specializes in the impossible.

I keep asking Him to make me come fully alive.  And maybe this is how: by bringing me face-to-face with my terrible attitude.

I need grace.

But God doesn’t just dole it out.  He wants me to give OTHERS grace first.  If I don’t forgive them, why should He forgive me?

So do I just go around forgiving everyone–even the stupid ones that wrecked my heart?  The senseless things done so carelessly and callously against me that caused untold amounts of hurt?

Yep.  Especially those.  For they have the proclivity (I know, big word) to do the most damage if I hold onto them.

Today is time for some Spiritual House-Cleaning: Forgive so-and-so.  Call the person I’ve avoided for months.  Delete that (harsh) rebuttal email.  Listen and practice Paul’s words:

“One thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3).

Forget past.  Press toward goal.  Get prize!

This is the key to being fully alive.  Delete junk in memory bank.  Embrace godly passions/calling in Christ (not in worldly stuff).  When I do, life abundant will awaken in my heart again, deadness will fall away, and I will be free to focus on my God-given passions instead of chastising myself for every failure (or chastising poor you).

So I think I will.  My prize beckons 🙂